I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops