Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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9/11 my birthday

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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