Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Mexicans working in an office

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -40

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -56

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +49

SPAMS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops