A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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eh

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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13 =B you just learned something

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Chris is hairy

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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