My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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