What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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