Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Hello penis

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why? Because.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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