2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How you know when dislextic

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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