Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Cancer

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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