There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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