What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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