A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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