What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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womans rights

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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Hello

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Women's rights.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Jasper sucks.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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