What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Lockerbie bombing

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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69

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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