little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I had a dream I watched Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hi my name is? joe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops