How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Cancer

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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