Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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men's rights activists

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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whats my name? Matt

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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