Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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