Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Ehh

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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