Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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