Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

What is the best joke ever? 1D

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

your mama's so fat... that's it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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