I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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