What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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