Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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