A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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