A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I am paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops