Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops