The New York Giants

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops