A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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