Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops