How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops