This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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