I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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