Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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