Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

A blind man walks into a library.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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