What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops