What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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