Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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Try it Yourself »

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops