What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Badabing.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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