What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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69

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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