Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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