What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -1

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops