What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

woman's lacrosse

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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