Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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