So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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