Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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womans having rights.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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