Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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