What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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