How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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why dont they make black forks

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Men's rights

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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