A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops