How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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