A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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