What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops