My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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knock knock? come in

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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