How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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My jeans

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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